Ra Ra – I’m with YOU!

Seeing so many of my friends have husbands/significant others & I see the complaining! Geez, you really have no clue what it is to have zero back-up! No clue to be on the precipice and no net/no one there to really care about you. I am seeing this & that about my ‘husband’ and wonder if these people understand/truly the courage it takes to move one foot in front of the other daily.
I think not! I am amazed at commentary from those so comfortable financially. Yeah yeah – go You! Quite honestly, you don’t know. You don’t wake up in a cold sweat! You don’t find it challenging to get to sleep- with the $$$ issues going round & round in your head. Spinning – constantly, always spinnning! No relief! NONE! Not ever, not one fucking day of relief and breathe. So, while you are ‘in solidarity’ with this & that – I would like you to think about the reality- NOT just the concept of being poor and smiling & all that – but not knowing if next week you’ll have the $$$ for milk for your coffee – or the coffee – let alone electricity and gas in the tank. It’s the reality of the USA & that is why I did not, could not celebrate the 4th of July. It’s just too damn selective in what is Freedom and what is the Good Life in the America of 2018! I’m worn out and worn down.

Oh, you say – but you went to France – how could you do that! The Answer my friends – is truly that I was compelled to go – if not I was dying and dying and my spirit spent. I was compelled to go & by hook or crook – I went. Now, the piper! Now, the shit-show! So, those of you married or w/ partners- Good for you! Cheers to you! Please do NOT presume to know what it is to teach as Adjunct Faculty & take chump change for a job well-done! It’s a never-ending cycle of despair and hope! You truly have no Idea! NONE!


Oppressive, no air.
Is this what we face on Monday for Summer II?
Forget it next summer.


About jkcosmos

Writer, Philosopher, Social Activist, College Lecturer, Former Assistant DA & Crimnal Defense Attorney. Living a life of thoughtful contemplation and thought-provoking ideas & dialogue.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Ra Ra – I’m with YOU!

  1. Austin says:

    I had no idea you were struggling that much. Every moment spent trying to survive.

    I worry about $, but it is an indulgence. I could go on about this but it would be a disservice to you.

    I think being married is a mixed blessing. As was being single. I married at 38.

    Once you get past the need for sex thing, and it gets surprisingly and in some ways disappointingly easy over time, probably friendships are just as good as a spouse-or so I imagine-maybe better.

    Most relationships are superficial. Which isn’t a bad thing. I sometimes think the proximity in marriage forces you to do things to make you think your relationship isn’t superficial. I would never marry again.

    Living in Shepherdstown, WV was nice. Small town. I was VP of the Shepherdstown Community Club and on the OLLI advisory committee which. So their were projects we had in common. And people knew me and we said hello and talked. It was very nice.

    After I left for Morgantown, I lost touch with everyone pretty much.

    The nice thing was Shepherd University and Shepherdstown had selerate identities. They overlapped but still separate. Morgantown is WVU and the cult of Mountaineers is bizarre. Everyone working in a store is a student. 3/4 restaurants, if not more, chain. There were no chains in Shepherds town. And it was pretty. Abutted the Potomac.

    I am very glad you managed to spend time in France.

    I am sorry you are struggling. I’m sorry America is unkind to so many people.

    I don’t have an answer.

    Maybe with your skill set, Canada is an option. Maybe France, I don’t know.

    I submitted an application. Because of my dad, I can be a Canadian citizen almost for the asking. Takes a year to process.

    Without diminishing how difficult your life is, I admire the life you’ve lived. Two wonderful sons. Two careers.

    Hang tough. I hope you find a solution.

    • jkcosmos says:

      You are very kind & sympatico. Many thanks. Yes, my rant shouldn’t & doesn’t diminish what I’m blessed to have in my life. The $ part is a constant grinding down, though. I am very very glad we’ve connected & am grateful for your friendship & all that you share w me. 💛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.